Description: First we have to draw a awesome picture. Next we writing about the picture I draw it a cute bunny car it the best car in the world.
Writing: Beep beep beep "I'm on holiday." I'm going to Auckland on my awesome holiday. I can see some trees, bushes and mountains. I love my cute bunny car it is so cold outside. Rrrrr I'm so hungry so I pull over at Beneys. Back on the road diving again. I can not believe my eyes I pull over I hop out I look around I see gold!! I'm back on the road to follow the gold, Auckland yay. I see a plain mountain of gold I start climbing the mountain of gold dodging full rocks of gold and dribbles of lava.
Feedback/Feedforward: I like how you tell were you are and I like what you say what you are doing. Next time I think you need to work on some Sinalis At the beginning and the onamatapaer. shaun